DNA Tan

What should I do?

I finally mustered that tiny bit of courage left in me to walk up to my RO to inform her of my decision to leave the service. Even up to the final second before I put my hand on her shoulders, I was still wavering in my so-called decision. I didn't have to open my mouth and she asked, "You want to quit?" I was stunned, yet relieved that those words need not be coming out from my mouth. I nodded. I went on to explain my concerns as a mother needing to participate my actively in my children's growing up phase and she expressed having the same sentiments. However, as what most bosses would do, she tried to persuade me, a little, but I told her what I had earlier rehearsed in my mind what I'd say if I'm cornered; I hate to wake my children up so early and dump them in the childcare centre, I want more time with the kids, my husband would like me to be more focused on bringing up the boys... She offered me an alternative which I kind of liked as its flexibility fits my schedule perfectly.

Later on in the evening, my RO called again. She had brought up my resignation to the Principal who attempted to negotiate flexible working hours to accommodate my request. Seriously, it is not my request as Im totally prepared to leave the service to be a SAHM. Something which Im totally incapable of, being persuaded. In fact, I hate being persuaded as I would crumble, cave in and oblige, even if it means not getting what I want. However, I appreciate the sincerity behind the intention of a negotiation instead of a 'Thank You, we appreciate your services all these years....' I don't want to be in a catch-22 situation whereby I have to compromise my goals to reciprocate their accomodation. I don't want to take advantage of the situation and bargain for something that isn't fair to my fellow colleagues. That's why Im still in a DILEMMA!!