DNA Tan

Are we really doing our kids a favour?

My parents used to have the regret that they weren't very successful people career-wise. Both came from very humble background where going to school is not mandatory but a luxury. (Actually my mum came from Nanyang Pri but she quit school as she prefers cooking and cleaning.... What??!!) In short, my parents then transfered their aspirations onto me, and provided me with the best that they could afford, so that I can fill up whatever was empty and pining in their cups.

I had a chance to take up ballet, but I gave that up to take violin. Then I took on piano classes on top of swimming classes and competition schedules. To further ensure that I am well-rounded, an art teacher was engaged to teach me at the ease of my home, one-to-one. Then my hectic time-table is peppered by Abacus and speed-reading classes. Seriously, for the meagre income they earned every month, they have definitely given me more than they can afford. Guess what? The only takeaway from those if that I exhibit the same kiasu-ism with regards to my kids.

Donovan started learning the piano late June 2010. Within a short time, he could understand the concepts even without me explaining it step-by-step. He could play the notes and is proud to play it for whoever is coming to our house. Donovan is also able to spell many words and do simple addition on paper. At times, I feel that I am giving him a lot of stress and with the fact that he is barely 4, am I expecting too much? Being a teacher exposes me to many children and parents who believed in over-preparing rather than under-preparing their kids. Giving them a good headstart ensures that they have an easier time in school later. Those who face difficulties will find studying too much a feat and will have their confidence dwindling when their peers are constantly outshinning them.

When I was schooling, learning a musical instrument is considered quite rare and any ceritification would mean real glory to you and your family. Aunts and cousins would call to ask about my marks, teachers would invite me to play for assemble concerts and even Dad's friends would get me to play a tune at their parties. For now, such skills is no longer considered prestigious. Everyone is learning a musical instrument and it is almost considered a basic requirement. Every parent is trying to outdo other parents and hence the stress in on the kids. That explains the newer, bolder and more ridiculous classes sprouting islandwide.

A professor's daughter who has a perfect score of 4As in 'A' level and armed with an excellent CCA profile, failed to be admitted into the Faculty of Medicine. The panel of interviewers revealed that the candidates are all armed with excellent academic records and strong CCA profiles, that is why the choosing becomes more stringent. With such phenomena, how can parents sit back and relax? I want my kids to have a good childhood without compromising their future. How can I have the best of both worlds?