DNA Tan

Spared the rod and won a son

I had always been very strict with Donovan, as he was one typical child who needed a system to guide and conform him such that he doesn't go wayward. Being the first child, he needs to also set good examples to his brothers and that's why we need to make sure he is well-behaved. I remember the first time hubby used a cane on him was when he just turned one. That one stroke on his thigh made hubby really guilty and it sparked off a need for us to always 'debrief' him after each disciplining session. However Donovan is always up to some mischief and would always be testing our patience(which isn't a lot to begin with...) and that made the cane a very tempting tool as the results are almost always instant.

Soon, we found that Donovan has gotten himself some backup support from the 'higher authority'. We felt restricted but soon made a firm stand about discipline. Slowly, Donovan grew further from us. By and large, he still relies on Daddy and Mummy but we were no longer his targets of comfort. We were slow to work around this behaviour too as we were busy with the younger fellows. The busier we were, the more impatient we became, the more atrocious be turned into and the more intense his punishments were. Hence, the further he drifted away from us. One incident made Mummy rethink her ways of disciplining.

Donovan was extremely rude one day when we picked him from school. In an attempt to stop him from hitting Domi, he got really mad and started shouting rude remarks at Mummy. It lasted throughout the journey from Thomson back to home and Mummy couldn't take it anymore. She kept quiet and brought Domi and Rei out, intentionally leaving Donovan at home. He realised that he is being 'abandoned' due to his rude behaviour and changed from that evening on. Mummy was feeling guilty too, the moment she left Donovan behind and decided to show Donovan with more care and concern from then.

Judging that Donovan's behaviour could be a result of lack of attention, Mummy made an effort to devote individual time to him everyday, reading him stories, chatting and watching TV together. Behavioural problems were dealt with lots of talking instead of hitting. We found that Donovan is more receptive to this method and is behaving much better already. The best takeaway is that he is growing closer to us. Yes, its good news, but that means Mummy has lesser time to spend with Rei. Well, we can't have the best of everything right?